Someone told me I need to make these emails more “effective” – “You know, like the 30 sec grab”.  Yes I say, I’m familiar with that modern life media tactic targetting the spot between the eyeballs with ‘the message’ before you know you’ve been hit between the eyeballs by ‘the message’ such that said message evades all regular intellectual security procedures entering by the back door so to speak and thereby subliminating it’s way into your consciousness thence to affect your modes of speech and dress, your political thoughts, purchasing patterns, musical tastes and the like.

It just took me about 20 seconds to read what I just wrote and we’re not even close to discussing the substance of this missive (or message) but then I was always more your long distance girl and would have failed Advertising 101 for sure especially once they found out that I don’t really, um, as a rule anyway, watch tele or follow the waves of what’s current, and also would have flunked Jingle Writing believing as I do that ‘Boogie Woogie’ rhymes just fine with ‘Everything that I do gon’ be funky from now on’.

I digress.

But isn’t it nice to chat about nothing sometimes?  Not necessarily explicitly in defiance of the relentless efficiency and productivity of modern times nor even in a sub-consciously passive aggressive anti-modern mode but maybe through simple skilfull ignorance honed over the years by devotion to being present and enjoying breathing, walking round the block, or flexing one’s toes?  For example if I have a real pile of productivity to produce I do like to pop down to the organic provedore and procure persimmons instead, and I don’t believe this instinct should always be filed under ‘p’ for ‘procrastinant’, but sometimes under ‘s’ for ‘spirit sustenance’ , ‘soul siesta’ or ‘satisfying saunter’.

Ok so I digressss.

Segue.

You might like to know that my band will be parting the red velvet curtains at the PARIS CAT JAZZ CLUB next SATURDAY 5TH MAYfor one early set only at 7.30pm

If you descend those sublunar stairs you will hear yours truly singing & playing pianner, with Ben Debonnaire Robertson on bass, AndrewCandyman Reid on guitar and Ashley KnockEmDead Davies on drums.  We allus have a great time and think you probably will too.

In other news, the fun clip we made for Say My Name has now been officially released and is viewable above, where you can also download the sweet & snappy lil’ single for free.

Also I’m pleased to announce that there is now a spanking new ‘RRR‘ page on the website that logs all the RRR ‘Shaken Not Rehearsed’ songs composed to order in an hour on Tim Thorpe’s Saturday morning ’Vital Bits’ show.

Ok, that was the message.

Cheers big ears,

Monique x

ps – a big thanks you to all who came out to the Sun Signs solo piano return season concerts at the Eleventh Hour Theatre last month, it was dandy.  Signed copies of Sun Signs are available for purchase on the SHOP page, with a free astrological reading offered to every 12th purchaser.  Guaranteed ambiguous or your money back.

A caller from St. Vincent Hospital called up with a need to hear Leonard Cohen.

Hallelujah
Here I am, prisoner of my early morning yearning
Thirsting now for the sound of your voice
Allelu

Help me now from this shroud, from revealing disgrace
Help me howl for the ones I left behind, help me
Know that I’ll find them there –
Alle-lu-jah

Hush baby now quiet the man
Quiet the years within me
Hold out your hand and I will fly, like a
Child into your arms,
Alle -lujah
Alle-lujah
Here I am

In this episode Maria from Elwood called in and talked about a social experiment she did when walking on the beach.She smiled at strangers to see how they would react.

Smile

When I look at you
Baby don’t be blue
Gonna hit you up
Yeah with all I got

Baby it’s all right
If I give you a smile
What you gonna do?

Oh oh oh oh oh (x4)

It’s just a moment in time
And it’s yours and it’s mine
What you gonna do
When I smile at you
Does it pick you up?
Such a terrible shock
What you gonna do-oooo?

Oh oh oh oh oh (x4)

Ned Kelly’s well know quote,’Such is Life’ became the hook for the track after Milky Milo and James called up talking about their lack of sleep.

Such Is Life

This week Sylvester called in and mentioned that he has been renovating so he has been unable to use the kitchen. This resulted in a debacle which included his Morris Minor, a pizza oven and foam balls flying throughout a shopping centre. Catherine also called in. She asked for a song for her partner of 26 years, Phil, whose 50th was coming up. Friend of a Friend is a marriage of these two tales.

Friend of a Friend
It all started at the local pub
Friend of a friend, the Collingwood Club
He had a voice that shook the wall
and they shook it on down to Smith st

Phil was working out Bundoora way
Cath would visit him and they’d while the hours away
Hours into days, years to remember
At a party in September

Just a friend
Come on honey help me take this bend
Devoted to the rivers end
Friend of a friend

Morris minor, did it’s best
Didn’t have much, but they had reels by request
Comes a son, daughter too
And they shook it down to Patton Hill

How many dinners, how many tears
Same black pot after all these years
A hundred kisses for a hundred fears
And we’ll shake it on down the river

This week Michael called in and offered a really enigmatic verse:

The thing that Michaels verse brought up for me was being in a relationship forever and trying to navigate the ever more complex and tricky paths.

Evening Tide
Forty long years in the desert
Wandering broke around you
Now you say you regret it
It’s all I ever wanted to do

When I met you we had boards and nails
Tough times from the start
We said we’d sail away
Build a heathen ark, for our love

We carve a road on the river
You can’t say we never tried
And if the boat is drifting
It’s just the evening tide

The brief for this week was ‘I missed out a big party last night and keep hearing about it.’

Start a Fire
Start a little fire now
Two sticks together and a Saturday night
Don’t go down without a fight
Start a little fire now

Come on Sonny let’s follow the crowd
To the park hangin’ off of the edge of town
King Cole’s playn for one last time
We’re gonna start a little fire

People sayin’ that it’s gonna to be big
Heaps o peachy girls and a big rig
Rock stars in civvies & it’s gonna kick

This week two stories were combined into the one personality.
The first caller was Kristen who wanted to know whether he should go out for lunch and drink more alcohol or stay at home with the kids. The other caller was Simon who couldn’t get the Basset hound off the bed.

What was it you said?
Another day in the life
The sun is sharp as a knife
And I wander around and I can’t get the hound off the bed
What was it you said

Another Sunday lunch
Pub of happy punters and I wonder will I have a few
Call the wrecking crew
I don’t care
What was it you said
It’s running around my head

What was it you said?

Today’s caller was after a motivational song for a Cyclocross event.

Cyclocross Lovers
Wind in your hair
Mud everywhere
White knuckle grip
Dirt mosh pit
Racing thru the highlands
Darebin parklands
Hell for leather
Cyclo-crossed lovers

She’s wearin black
Lost in the pack
Roars like thunder
She’s goin under
Blood on the tracks
Flat on her back
Hell for leather
Cyclo-crossed lovers

Falling down, spinning roun
Gotta get up
Bunnyhop
Outta the mud

Back in the saddle
Pedal pedal
Over the fence
Down in the trench
Cyclo-crusade
Bike track rage
Hell for leather
Cyclo-crossed lovers

Today we had two callers.Graham called in asking for a song about The Strade Bianche in Tuscany. Our second caller Frank’s idea was based on a true story based in Morocco where someone tried to buy his girlfriend for a thousand camels.

Love’s Marketplace
What do you want from me
I paid you in ecstacy
But baby you don’t want to see
White gravel road ahead

How much for the briefcase
Gave you what I got but you’re in my face
Take me to a dark space
What are we here for?
Down love’s market place

Woman needs a man like a camel needs a bicycle

We keep coming back for more
7 gold pieces laid on the dirt floor
Everybody’s trying to score
What are we here for
Down love’s market place